IDSA Showcase: Autumn 2023

Since the last showcase I did in 2022, there has been a lot of changes in my life. Good ones. But sometimes when it comes to your mental health I just had to step back. It is one of the hardest decisions for me. To fully focus on the craft of filmmaking, I have to let one thing go.

The more you work harder and you do the work, it will always work out on screen or stage. Don't think about the ending result. Be clear on your objective. Experiencing life and putting yourself in a position where you are forced to interact with others will give you enough confidence you need. You are alone most of the time in your journey so the only person looking out for you is yourself. I don't need to use something that means a lot for me to get in to the emotion.

For months I have been using something pretty sensitive to help me get in to character but that is not the case. You don't have to go through that. For me it's not just a 4 minute script, it's 4 minutes that can change my life and change everything around me. I am serious of having myself out there in the best way as I can. For some people all it takes is a showcase to prove to those who can give them the opportunity that I am someone. But on the other hand when I finished the showcase. I went out to see the people who were watching and they loved my scene. That felt good. I have done what I really wanted to do is to do my best and prove to the people that I am going through losing someone that I love. That is the best feeling ever. It will hold close to my heart through my career and life.

I am more prepared and how I have improved this year. I feel I know what I need to do to achieve that feeling of satisfaction after a performance. Learning the craft to enjoy the progress but also accepting that it's okay to have bad days but to remember that what you want is painful and the pain will never stop until you are fully satisfies with the result. However, I am going to have a hard time finding that feeling because I expect too much from myself and set the expectations high I struggle to find that satisfaction sometimes. This year I realised what it takes to improve and be good at the craft. I really love that I took a term off and focus o my confidence.

What I see in myself improving is coming in to rehearsals and not be disappointed when whether it doesn't go the right way I want it to.