Uncertain

I recently have been feeling a bit lost. In fact, it has only happened recently that we are moving forward to graduating and trying to create value. 

One of the reasons is procrastination.

Having too big of a goal. Whenever I write a script or write something, I have so much expectation on myself and my project which results in me getting stressed so much. Or even when I finish writing one of the projects, I expect to write better scripts than I did which is good but also not the best. I put too much pressure on myself which resulted in me procrastinating. That also leads to me over thinking and stressing. 

I was watching a video by Ali Abdal, a doctor turned youtuber who talks a lot about productivity and in this video he talks about feeling stuck or unfulfilled with the things that we do. Listening to his video, I can see why I feel stuck. A lot of the time I have always been thinking about what is going to happen next and looking far ahead, too far in fact that it results in me feeling stuck. 

He talks a lot living with the uncertainty. Today, I had a call with my mum in Thailand. There’s an earthquake going on in Thailand. I was on a call with my mum and it felt scary. I didn’t know what was going to happen in the next few minutes or whether or not they would be able to come to the UK in 3 days. It was scary and it still is. By the time this blog is published, my family will be in Bangkok which got pretty bad they're so still, you never really know what’s going to happen the next day. 

It’s scary and puts you in a place where you seek comfort. So I went to the gym and did some legs. It does feel a bit better but throughout, I was thinking what would be happening right now? Are they okay? That was all going through my head. So, finally, you can’t really get away from the feeling of uncertainty, whether it’s work, family or anything, you just have to learn to live with it.